As a partial explanation of my failure to maintain this blog for the last few months, here’s one of the things I’ve been up to:
I have an app that seems to be permanently open in my brain; maybe it is a monkey on a typewriter. Strings of letters constantly rearrange themselves and every so often a combination sticks and I have a new word in my head. I’ve tried to figure out what to do with these words.
Some of them have ended up in a story I wrote, about a “jellyfarglemarsh”, which you can listen to over at Stories from the Borders of Sleep. Others are being collected in a document on Draft (superb tool for distraction-free writing and collaboration invented by Nathan Kontny) until I find a use for them. As a writer, you always need new words for things.
The typewriting-monkey app goes crazy, though, when I play Scrabble. In the last month, I would have scored a lot better in Scrabble if I could have played some of the following non-words:
opet ovisa tabe joen earez loat beetis thone pety rhoney mooty jora saum nute duntie chun zenu opida antid laicana zouf zelam criben agantile vermid canu prestagelent adabs ariab
So there we are.
I guess, if any other chump googles them, they will end up reading this post.
Would any of my readers care to come up with meanings for some of this new vocabulary?
I’m not complaining for a minute; this is the life I have chosen for myself and I love it. As in any job, though, there are good days and bad days.
I am often asked for advice by people who are considering going self employed in creative fields and my first line is a reality check. If I had known all this when I started three and a half years ago, I don’t think it would have changed anything, but this is my second attempt to “go it alone” after I learned some hard lessons the first time round, which was about ten years ago.
|Shuffling to your PC in your pyjamas with a cup of coffee at 11am to start work||Getting up at 6am and sometimes working ‘til midnight to meet a deadline.|
|Lunching with friends||Skipping meals because you are “in the zone” and don’t want to lose the flow|
|Being your own boss and beholden to nobody||Working for a string of “bosses” in succession and often simultaneously|
|Never having to fill in another job application||Being on a permanent job hunt to line up the next month of work|
|Never having to go through another annual performance review||Trying to stay on top of your game and develop your skills with virtually no guidance|
|Holidays when you want them||No paid leave and the laptop comes on holiday with you because it’s impossible to “abandon the baby”|
|Extended amounts of time in your own little world||Missing the banter and mutual support of a work environment|
|Doing what you love every day||Tax returns, accounts, marketing, pitching and admin at least 30% of the time|
|Time to work on your “big idea”||Shelving the “big idea” until things calm down a bit|
|Having control over your working environment||Moving to the kitchen because the desk is too cluttered, tripping over the laundry pile and the dog/cat who is doing everything in its power to distract you|
|“My office is a coffee shop”||Spending half an hour trying to get access to their unfeasibly slow WiFi, getting the shakes by lunch time (after your 4th espresso), going outside to take a phone call that you don’t want to be overheard|
|Practice the guitar in your “lunch break”||Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook and Stumbleupon in your “lunch break”|
As much as I despise psychological profiling, I know I don’t score highly as a completer/finisher.
Nevertheless, few things beat the thrill of finishing something; it’s a natural high.
If you have woken up to Monday morning blues, could it be the hung-over unfinished things of last week that are to blame?
If I ever start to feel bad about myself, I often find that not finishing something is at the root of the bad feelings. Conversely, actually finishing just one thing can put me back on top of the world and inspire me to go on to finish something else.
Unfortunately, it sometimes feels as if the price to pay for finishing is too high; I often settle for the cheaper thrills such as being ‘tweeted’ by a ‘celebrity’:
@seeingmore legend mate thank you half asleep !
— Jamie Bruce (@JamieBrucie) May 15, 2013
Finishing doesn’t have to be an expensive drug. There are all sorts of small things you could finish in the next five minutes – like emptying and reloading the dishwasher.
In order to get the week underway, I prescribe what I call a “finishing ladder”.
Try to finish some stuff today …
Your dopamine receptors will love you for it.
Grammar was never invented to separate people “in the know” from the rest of us or to keep teachers and proofreaders in a work. In fact it, was never “invented”. It is intrinsic to language and fundamental for communication.
A new piece of research, published in the May 8 issue of the Journal of Neuroscience, suggests that bad grammar is not only noticed by the English teacher or the pedant in the office but also at a neurological level by your bog-standard brain – yes, YOUR brain (and mine).
Participants in a study were presented with short sentences, one word at a time, and their brain activity was monitored using a non-invasive technique. A mixture of good and bad sentences were used and the participants were asked to mark them correct or incorrect as well as to respond to an auditory tone that was played at some point while they were reading each sentence. Thus their awareness (of errors and tones) could be checked against actual brain activity.
When it was all shuggled out, the results showed brains responding to errors even when the participants did not register their awareness of them. The brain appears to pick up and correct errors of syntax without us noticing. However, this unconscious process demands neurological resources.
Helen J. Neville, one of the paper’s co-authors from the University of Oregon, points out that children often pick up grammar rules implicitly through routine daily interactions with parents or peers, simply hearing and processing new words and their usage before any formal instruction. This has implications for second language acquisition; grammar should be taught implicitly, without semantics. In other words, she suggests that nonsense poems, such as Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky”, are ideal material for this approach – syntactically sound, yet virtually meaningless.
For me, this research underlines the importance of syntax, and word order in particular. The logical flow of a sentence should be such that the reader does not have to re-read it (consciously or unconsciously). I find that about 30% of my editorial tweaking tackles this issue.
I often recommend that people who want to improve their writing read as much good copy as they can, in order to internalise the language; read their own writing out loud, to hear how it works; lead the reader by the hand, making sure that the meaning stands out from the surrounding qualifiers; and assume that if their meaning can possibly be misconstrued, then it will be.
Audio: Study summary by Laura Batterink: http://bit.ly/13FRBmC
Institute of Neuroscience: http://uoneuro.uoregon.edu/ionmain/htdocs/index.html
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I am ashamed to admit that I found a copy error on the back of the business cards I have been using for the last three years. When I started freelancing in 2010, I didn’t know how to use a colon. At worst, dodgy copy makes things downright confusing for the reader: at best, it makes you look like a numpty – especially when you are selling your writing and editing skills.
Here is the offending item:
I’m always recommending that people don’t use a colon to introduce a list in this way. It is unnecessary and it often leads to confusing sentences. I think that must be the reasoning behind the fact that it is plain wrong. Nevertheless, this use is extremely common. If you want to go for an “A” grade, make sure that what precedes the colon is a proper sentence. Yes I’ve just re-ordered my cards with a rewritten blurb; that colon cost me £20.
So, having admitted one of my many faults, am I permitted to share a giggle over some other people’s, from my collection?
This invokes visions of staff swinging into the toilet, Tarzan style, on the disabled alarm cord (and possibly landing with a splash of toilet water).
Here is some classic apostrophe abuse, compounded by inconsistency. If there are Coffee’s, why aren’t there also Tea’s, Breakfast’s, Cocktail’s, Wine’s, Spirit’s and Beer’s?
I was very disappointed that I didn’t see any old vehicles being smashed at the museum in Alston; I wouldn’t mind smashing a few exclamation marks, though!
Grammar Patrol! Grammar Patrol ‘ten’SHUN! Turning to the right in threes disMISS! Carry on!